Anxiety and worries of the world. I googled its meaning..it is hard to find a lot about it. Basically, it's all the bs and worries in your mind...about the larger world....stuff on the world news...politics, crime, war, hate, struggles, oppression, hunger, fear, the destruction of the environment, the gross inequality of wealth distribution in the world, poverty, injustice, corruption, etc. I could list a lot more. But I digress.
I really need to stop worrying and being so concerned about SO many things. I gave up the news for a few days but could not stop watching...I need to know some of what is going on...at least what we learn from the filtered media. I want to learn and be aware, and understand. I want to help save the world and people if I can...and I know I am virtually powerless over almost all of the things I worry about. I can't save the world. Maybe the buddhists are right, life is suffering..it is inevitable...we are all suffering and we desire more and more which makes us suffer more and more....we are hungry then we eat...we feel good for a few hours...then we get hungry again and feel bad..we need to eat. We are feeling sexual...and find release....then the craving returns and our mind is off again seeking pleasure. And endless pursuit of desires and needs and wants...
I am making a resolution to myself to not worry about the things I cannot control, which is 99% of the Weltangst. I want to learn to meditate. To have some peace of mind. To relax.
But I also want to be involved in a few issues I believe in to help people...I have to decide what they are. Perhaps I need to give some money to sponsor a poor school district, or pay for school supplies for a poverty stricken school in a nearby city...direct action. Or I need to give blood several times a year. Or I need to volunteer at a shelter. Or do something.. My life is not perfect, but it is relatively very good compared with the lives of millions of others who don't have enough to eat...live in squalor...struggle for survival .
I want peace of mind. I want good karma. I want to feel I am doing my little part to be a positive influence on the world. I try hard to do so.. But I need to focus my priorities and pick 1, 2, or 3 things that I want to get involved with that are positive....(and I think politics is not one of them! Talk about stress and conflict!)
I am becoming dissilusioned with politics once again. I have been through this cycle many times. I go from believing in the process....to being very cynical about it. I have to plead the 5th amendment..I will spare you my opinions on the health care "reform", the billions in Wall Street bonuses in the middle of a huge recession, the escalation of a foreign conflict, etc, etc. I'm not feeling the Hope and Change that I voted for. If feels like a lot of more of the same status quo. I want our leaders to truly lead us....and make positive changes to make our lives better, and to make America a greater nation. I can only imagine that many people who voted for the change last year are feeling a little dissapointed in what is going on.....hey.....wait a minute....I thought we were going in a new direction? I thought we were going to start taking care of our fellow Americans? I want a leader who will stand up to interest groups that have too much influence, I want a leader who will have the guts to lead...not just compromise, not just give in to the "center", not just play the same old games in DC. I have so much respect for our new world leader....I am hoping he will be very successful, but I am feeling dissapointed right now....I feel let down....I want that rhetoric of hope and change to be put into real action.
there...I got it out of my psyche and system....I feel better!
....I am going to try and find some peace of mind for today...(sounding like Stuart Smalley!)...by the way, go Al Franken....who would have thought he would be where he is now!
I am going to slow down....relax..refocus...pick a few things I can be involved in that make small, positive steps in a progressive direction to help people. But I want to preserve my own sanity in the process. Welt in angst...you are not helping me....I need to be centered from a center of peace and calm. (....deep breath.....breathe..) Enjoy the day folks, and see if you can do one thing to help one other human being today...even if it is just holding the door for someone and smiling at them!